The blog died out 2 months before the 50 mile race - which is a shame. Things got busy, and I just didn’t have time to journal and edit. I DID the 50 mile run on November 19, 2010. It was a transformative experience. I loved it - loved it so much I have committed to running double the distance at the end of August in South Dakota. I’m hoping to journal this experience, this time keeping up - even if life bears down uncontrollably hard. I have snippets of writing here and there leading up to the big 50 mile occasion, and I will do my best to form it into some sort of coherent essay. In the meantime what has been going on with me?
Well - I had my cancer eradicating surgery on December 17, 2010 and was expecting a swift and relatively painless recovery. That did NOT happen. I had several setbacks, major amounts of exhaustion, and a good deal of pain for many weeks. At 8 weeks out I finally felt comfortable enough to try a run. It sucked big time, but I kept moving. 1 week later I ran a half marathon in Ft. Worth. It was my slowest time ever, @ 2hours even I came in - 25 minutes slower than my last half 6 months prior - but I was ecstatic to cross the line and realize that I had a fighting chance to get back to fitness.
My first true long run in 2011 happened just over a month ago at the Go St. Louis Marathon with my brothers - my first real steps back to running form:
Games were a big deal in my house growing up - card games, board games, atari and nintendo games were essential pieces of our childhood life, but nothing took up more space in our world than the physical games we played - both on our sport teams and in our own house. We had pick up basketball games & wiffle ball in the backyard and our own version of indoor soccer in our living and dining room (Thanks Mom!). No one was a bigger participant in this game playing than my Pops, whose excessive creativity spilled over into all things games. He would make up intricate and involved games for us and willingly participate in the fun. I grew up in an extremely physical house, in a flurry of constant activity. I love sports - I love games - I spent most of my young life playing team sports, having a group around me to consistently push me to the next level and make me work hard even when I just wanted to be lazy. The comradarie of sports is something I miss. As a long distance runner it’s you and the pavement, a totally different kind of intensity. So having the chance to run with both of my brothers - it felt like old times - playing games, gathering strength from one another, and despite the heat and the hills, having some serious fun! Although the marathon was thrown a weather curveball for the 2nd year in a row I was still smiling from ear to ear as I realized for the first time since December, that I really am capable of the long run again! Families really do ROC.
Since that Sunday I have struggled with my running, trying very hard to take it easy, build on what I am starting, and gain a tiny bit of my speed back each week. It’s not easy, it’s not even very fun, but I realize I have to be patient - start slowly - and trust in the training. It's in me - it's there rattling around somewhere, and I'm not giving up on it just yet!
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