Finding Strength in Weakness

35 miles - not even halfway to 100 - and the distance nearly finished me off yesterday. We were starting later than I would’ve liked, due to my inability to get out of bed when the alarm went off. I stood up, looked out the window, looked at Conrad and said,” I can’t move. I’ve got to go back to bed for an hour.” So I promptly did. Upon my next wake up, 7:45 am, I did manage to get myself out of bed and downstairs for a cup of morning joe to try and pry my eyes open. Unfortunately, my stomach was feeling a bit unsettled, and the coffee just kick-started a terrible, rumbly gut. Ignoring the discomfort, I only have 8 weeks left to get these long miles in after all, I traipsed upstairs, dressed myself in the lightest, loosest fitting running gear I could find and talked myself into feeling “great”. We packed our fuel belts full of gummy bears, pretzels, mints, granola bars & tylenol, filled our water bottles and moved out the front door.

It was warm. It was humid, but it wasn’t too sunny yet. I felt ok at the get go, but then my fuel belt kept hitting my stomach, right where it was cramping the worst, and I couldn’t get into a rhythm. I think I spent the first 7 miles fiddling with the belt, moving it up, moving it down, tightening it, loosening it, just trying to feel better. Of course, it wasn’t really the belt that was the problem. It was my ever growing stomach ache. Conrad woke up and felt great, and as the run progressed, he continued to feel better and better. While it’s wonderful to have someone at your side for these long excursions, and it’s also wonderful to have someone help you along when you feel awful, it’s difficult to feel like you are being an anchor. I haven’t seen Conrad feel this sprightly on a long run for quite a while - and it doubled my frustration at my own weakness.

Once we got through downtown and onto the MRT trail, I was in pretty bad shape. About an hour and a half or so into the run - I had to stop, go off the trail and try to clear out my belly. I squatted right into a hive of bees - not my day. Upon returning to the trail I did feel a bit better and tried to fuel myself with some gum drops. We made it almost another hour before I really started to fail. All my systems were just shutting down. I was dehydrated from the heat, humidity and stomach issues - and my legs were just wiped out. To add to this, our turnaround point on the trail is this little park, complete with a water fountain for us to fill our water bottles. When we got to the park, however, there was NO WATER. That meant another hour, at least, until the next working water fountain. It was really more of a mental blow than anything. I tried my best not to tear up as I was already dehydrated, feeling quite sick & now we were almost 20 miles away from home. There was nothing to do but turn around and get there.

My spirits sank further and further - but Conrad did his best to keep the mood light. I again had to leave the trail to empty out my stomach, and this time I managed to find a place free of bees, but full of chiggers - not my day. Once we got moving again, I would have to take long walking episodes. I felt terribly for Conrad, who was joyful despite this agonizingly slow pace. At 4 hours we hit a water fountain, and we were both so thirsty that we drank 20oz on the spot, and then filled our bottles back up again for another 20oz. We realized that the water was a grey/green - but we really had no choice, as the thermometer was tipping close to 90 and the sun was in full blaze by that point. The rest of the run was a blur of frustration, pain, exhaustion and doubt. Even 1 mile from home I wasn’t sure if I would make it without having to stop for a long rest. Yet throughout this whole struggle - I was thankful to have the experience. I learned more about my drive, my determination, my physical strength in the face of adversity - as well as a few practical matters for 100 mile heat training, like taking the sunscreen with you and re-applying every hour so as to avoid the burn Conrad & I are sporting today.

I’m not sore. I am tired, but I do feel recovered and ready to run tomorrow. Hopefully this upcoming weekend’s run, we’ll be adding 6-8 miles to the distance, will fare much better - and I’ll be healthy from the start. I can say with authority that this run is the hardest run I have ever had, by far the worst run I’ve ever been on - and still I can’t wait to tackle the long run again next weekend. Some people might think that’s crazy, but I liken it to progress - relentless forward motion. It’s all going up from here!

Miles Run: 55 +1hour biking +2hours yoga