There is a saying in Tibetan that “at the door of the miserable rich man sleeps the contented beggar.” The point of this saying is not that poverty is a virtue, but that happiness does not come from wealth, but from setting limits to one’s desires, and living within those limits with satisfaction. The saying rattled around my noggin all week long during my first structured training week in over a year. When you’ve been out of the game for such a while - it is hard to jump right back in, address your weaknesses head on and realize that you are not as fast, as fit, as spiffy as you once were. One of my frustrations last year came not only from the physical illness, surgery, recovery, the emotional exhaustion of death, but also from the unrealistic expectations placed on myself in the midst of all of the crazy. I lost sight of the process. I just wanted to be there already - to be as good as I possibly could, if on the best day I was as fit as I’ve ever been. And even then - if that were the case - I would still be telling you the tales of an incredibly average, at best, state-ranked runner.
I’m not great. I’ll never be on the olympic team, nor could I even set my feet on the starting line of the trials. But I can stand next to those running giants, and that is one of the reasons I love this sport so much. I pound the pavement behind the best in the sport - directly behind them. I step over their sweat and spit and cross the same finish line they do. How many athletes get to shadow the best of the best? If you love baseball, but don’t have the skill to make it in Yankee stadium, the closest you get is a seat on the sideline. For us runners, we get to stand toe to toe with those who are at the peak of the sport. We get to stand in the same arena, go through the same journey. This is one of the beauties and wonders of running. And while it’s certainly important to set goals - and to have “stretch” goals in your peripheral vision - we must be happy with the process. We should revel in the fact that we are here at all, that we are moving, pushing, learning and growing right along with the greats. And my incredibly average-ness doesn’t matter, it’s the goals set, the structure and life they give me that moves me along. Setting those goals, being realistic about my own limitations, physically, time wise, etc.. is a productive first step in being satisfied within the limits.
In that mindset I began the week, full of anticipation and ready to take the dive. And I did. And it wasn’t so bad after all. I forgot how much I love a plan. The structure, the pressure, the insistence that you can’t get better if you don’t try. 1 week down - 13 more to go before challenge #1 of 2012.
Miles run 44 + 1.5 hour yoga
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